Tuesday, April 23, 2013


One Reason I Haven't Posted Much This Year Yep. Just the thought of Senator Ted Cruz(R-TX)makes me feel like comedian Lewis Black just before his head explodes. America, as a Texan please accept my apologies for living in the same state as George Bush, Rick Perry, Karl Rove and now this colossal prick. Hard to believe Texas could produce a new politician who's even more dangerous and obnoxious as the afore mentioned list, but we have done it. He's Sen. Joseph McCarthy meets-Roscoe Sweeney-meets an anteater, only more paranoid, arrogant and shadier than all three. He's dangerous, folks. I hear his colleagues in the Senate are horrified at his bombastic approach and his scene stealing demands for attention. As a freshman senator, he should shut up and learn the ropes, but no... If you're like me and like to keep your eye on emerging political scumbags, I highly recommend Cruz.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Thirty Things I've Learned About Work 1. There's always an asshole you are forced to work with. 2. If a male coworker or boss wears a tie with a short sleeved shirt, he's a loser with delusions of grandeur. 3. You may think your boss is your friend, but when it comes to money he/she is nobody's friend. 4. There is no I in team, but there is a ME. 5. Getting up early and dressing up for work is one of life's worst experiences. 6. Everyone rehearses before calling in sick, even if they really are sick. 7. The food is never any good at office parties. 8. A $50 holiday bonus is a slap in the face, especially if they tax it. 9. "Beats the hell out of me" is never the right answer when your boss asks you a question. 10. If your boss says "irregardless" or "utilize," he/she is an asshole. 11. Just assume they are all reading your e-mail. 12. Reports are just a pile of paper in a folder telling the boss what he/she wants to hear. 13. Lack of planning does not constitute an emergency or a reasonable excuse for your boss giving you ridiculous deadlines. 14. Never get drunk or high around coworkers or bosses. 15. Never have anyone from the office as a guest in your home. 16. The biggest gossip in the office also gossips about you. 17. Having sex or doing drugs with coworkers is always a bad idea. 18. Stay vague when answering personal questions. 19. Never tell coworkers or the boss when you're going on a lavish vacation. Just say you're staying home and doing chores. 20. Do not festoon your desk with toys you got from your happy meal. 21. Do not personalize your office with photos or mementos. That just invites snoopy questions. 22. Always chip in for gifts for the boss or coworkers, but demand to sign the card. 23. Bachelor/bachelorette parties for coworkers always get out of hand and result in embarrassing photos and/or sordid stories. Arrive on time and leave early. 24. If you hate kids, dogs or cats, keep that information to yourself. 25. Don't take more than a week's vacation at a time or else they'll figure out that you don't actually do much work. 26. If you're a civil servant, stay as average as possible and never offer any new ideas for cutting costs or streamlining procedures. They resent anything new. 27. Schedule dental appointments for early in the morning so it'll result in a whole day off because of medication and/or painful procedures. 28. It is perfectly all right to hide deodorant or soap in a stinky coworker's desk drawer. 29. Do not tell any coworkers or your boss that you have a Facebook account. 30. Do not discuss your love life with anyone at work, especially if it's on the rocks.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Honest, God, I've Been Trying to Clean Up My Language

Recently I've been trying not to curse so much. It had gotten to the point where I used the word fuck (or variations of it) in almost every other sentence I uttered. Now comes Arizona's Governor Jan Brewer and her new law that prohibits Mexican Nationals from obtaining drivers' licenses in Arizona, even if they have legitimate permits that allow them to be employed in America. She's such a petty skank whore woman, I just want tobeat her to death with a fucking baseball bat ask her why she's so fucking adamant,vindictive and intolerant toward Mexican immigrants. Did one of them ass rape her as a child, or what? Sure, she's a fucking racist bitch Republican, but must she be such a bitch carry things to such motherfucking obvious extremes? I never cared for Arizona because it's hotter than Hell and home to so many honky white bastards and bitches because of its long standing idiotic racist conservative extremism, but with this hateful old seahag Governor Brewer at the helm, it's actually gotten worse. Why, even knocked up whore bitch Bristol Palin chose to move to Arizona because the dump is as horrible as she is of its right-wing political climate. Simply put, Jan Brewer is a dried up piece of lizard shit Ms. Brewer is making a negative impact on an already fucked up the state she represents. I hope she drops dead of a heat stroke I hope she evolves into a likable person one day which will never happen because she is the spawn of Satan. and becomes a more compassionate and a less loathesome bitch person.

I Have a Dream

Back in the 2008 primary season, I got into it with many of my liberal and/or progressive friends because I preferred Hillary Clinton over Barack Obama. I liked Obama, I just thought Hillary would do a better job than Barack. I also was leery of Michelle back then, but I have grown to love and admire her. Four years later, Hillary has done a magnificent job as Obama's Secretary of State, and national and international polling about her job approval ratings have maintained very high marks throughout her tenure. Before that, her performance in the Senate also drew high marks, even from her Republican Senate colleagues. Judging by Bill Clinton's enthusiastic campaigning for President Obama's second term in office, it was obvious to me that Bill was paving the way for Obama to wholeheartedly endorse Hillary in the 2016 presidential race. I adore Hillary, and I think Bill Clinton was the best president we've had in the last 30 years. To think that President Hillary Clinton would have her husband to advise her is the very definition of the term, "value added." I do have a dream. I dream of Hillary winning the 2016 Democratic primary, and her choosing Michelle Obama as her running mate. With that ticket, the world would see America's evolution, and our global street cred would be astronomically high. I think Jeb Bush is already gearing up to run for president in 2016, and after eight years of us enduring his moronic big brother in the oval office, I doubt that the American electorate will want to risk another Bush catastrophy. So, a Hilary and Michelle ticket. What do you think?

Thursday, November 15, 2012

We Proved It, So Let's Keep Proving It

After President Obama trounced Romney in the election and guys like Karl Rove made utter fools of themselves by ripping off a lot of greedy millionaires, now the news brings us loads of restaurant chain owners and franchisees bitching about the cost of Obamacare. Now that we know that some restaurants we may visit or stores we may shop at are dirty right-wing rats, let's boycott them. Here's my partial list:
Some are being boycotted because they're bitching about Obamacare, some because their food sucks, Macy's because they pay Donald Trump, and I didn't add Walmart's logo because I'm lazy. Are you boycotting any companies because their political views do not reflect your values, or for any other reasons? Do tell!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Uh Oh, It's the Pucker Face

I've been waiting to see this facial expression. The pucker face represents the last gasps of anyone's political career, and here's Mitt's version.
Classy, huh? Now let's take a little walk down Pucker Memory Lane:
And for desert, please feast your eyes on this article, about how Mitts made millions by investing in Chinese companies he was outsourcing American jobs to. It's kind of like hiring a hitman to kill your wife, then after she's dead, stealing the money you paid the hitman right out of his pocket. Stay classy, Mitts. http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2012/07/bain-capital-mitt-romney-outsourcing-china-global-tech

The Secret, Leather-Bound Journal of Mitt Romney

Today's entry: Tales from the Campaign Trail Gee willikers, and I thought running Bain Capital was tricky. This race for president is lots harder than being the President, CEO, CFO, Chairman of the Board, Proprietor, Owner and sole Shareholder of Bain. No sir, back then I didn't have to answer to every low income, snot nosed kid who wagged his "high tech" microphone thingy in my face while he had taco or falafel stains on his inexpensive shirt or necktie. Why, these reporters and pundints act as if they have a right to pry into my personal business and demand proof of taxes I paid and such, rather than taking my word for things--like the way my subordinates used to do at Bain. Just the other day, Ann and I were having a "rap session," as the kids like to call them these days, and I was explaining to her how America has gotten so down at the heels they even have FEMALE reporters disrespecting me by asking questions that are frankly none of their business. Ann agreed that a woman's true calling was to look pretty, and be there for her husband and sons in the home, not in the boardroom or TV studio like some sort of masculine "she-male" type. Why sure, I allow Ann to have her hobbies like owning a few horses, shopping and such, but our faith has it right: Eve was created from Adam's rib, and to act as if she's all high and mighty is not only disgraceful, it's a sign of weakness on her husband's part, not to be able to keep his wife in line. Why, I even allow Ann to speak to the media once I have vetted her remarks, so how dare they imply that I am old fashioned and not "groovy" enough for the times? With each passing day the media has come up with some new, so-called "disgraceful" item about me. Now someone has obviously used something called "The Photoshop" to create the illusion of me speaking at a private fundraising dinner, and simply telling the truth that the media refuses to tell: that 47 percent of all Americans pay no income tax whatsoever, and 3 out of every 7 Americans are entirely dependent on the government for their food, shelter, clothing, automobiles, and even their housekeepers, gardeners and pet food expenses. And it happens to be true that had I had Mexican parents, the world would be calling me "Senior Presidente" by now. I'd like to see these welfare abusing tax dodger reporters try to make it in the world as a white male who worked hard, only to be penalized and taxed at rates as high as 7 or 8 percent. Oh sure, father willed a few dollars to me, as did Ann's parents to her, but we both gave all the money away so that we could make a success of our lives without any help. As God is my witness, the only way father helped me as a kid was to pay for prep schools, college, graduate school, Harvard Law School, room and board, a small stipend, a modest new automobile every year, and Ann's and my first home. The media acts as if not all parents are willing to give their kids a small head start like that! What world are they living in? And now they have tarred and feathered me with claims that I am what they call a "flip flopper." Anyone with even a state university graduate degree will tell you that ALL politicians must make statements that the voters want to hear so they will vote for you! For Heaven's sake, how hard is that to comprehend? Things I said when I was running for governor of Massachusetts HAD TO SOUND liberal or I never would have won. Now I have to sound extra-extra conservative because those are the dictates of the Republican party, nothing more! There's no deceit present on my part, it's simply a game we fellows like to call "politics." Truth be told, I don't give much thought to social "hot buttons," as they are called, because I believe that if a man wants to succeed in life, he must borrow a few dollars from his father for the first 30 or so years of his life, then he must stand up and be a man! These reporters, especially the non-male, non-white, non-Christians of the lot pretend to act incredulous when I explain to them the ABC's of a man making a success of his life. They act as if the simple economics of making millions in a company without the company actually making anything to sell is some sort of magic show! How hard is it to understand? You simply purchase an ailing company for pennies on the dollar, remove its cash and other assets, then you either fire or outsource their employees to a country that better understands what labor is truly worth, then you close the company down and sell the building. If the bulding is a ramshackle eyesore, which it often is, you simply abandon it and let the local government decide what to do with it. And then you deduct the loss on your income tax. Oh sure, it's one thing to expect the government to spoon-feed the average Jose or Mohammed, but when it comes to the government's true function, such as dealing with abandoned buildings, then it's somehow wrong? It makes no sense. As the kids today say, "It's all wacky!" Still, I am not bitter. Though I have worked my fingers to the bone to achieve a modicum of success and managed to save a few dollars toward retirement (unlike others, I do not expect the government to pave my retirement with free bricks of gold) I remain God's humble servant and a man of humility and good nature. Of course, if I were a Negro, Mexican, Muslim or even a woman I'd feel pretty good about what November will bring, but even with the burden of being an average white "dude" as the kids say, I still think I might have a shot at the Oval Office. God willing.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Voting For Mitt Romney?

Make a pro Romney comment on my blog. Let's argue about why you're an idiot if you support this conniving, lying piece of crap. Bring facts, not fantasy and I will, too. But first watch the video, and see him flip-flopping his ass off. Then you can explain why this liar is a man we can trust.

Friday, August 31, 2012

It's All Elephant Shit to Me

The thing about the GOP when George W. Bush was around is that they were at least amusing to watch. Now with Mitts "Outsource King" Romney, they're all just boring. Fox News will be dumping Sarah the Grifter Palin from their payroll soon, so her star is tarnished and bent, much like her whore daughter Brisket's reputation. Let's face it--even Fox News would rather see Obama win a second term because at least that gives them something to bitch about on their newscasts. Clint Eastwood was the best the GOP could come up with at their hurricane-plagued convention. His speech was like any 82-year-old's--rambling, vague and speaking to someone who wasn't in the room. The GOP had lied so often, everyone is bored with hearing the same lies again. If Mitt Romney is the best they have to put forward, they are sunk. Sure, they have Chris Christie waiting in the wings for 2016, that is if his strained heart can continue to carry about his 400+ pounds than much longer. I read all sorts of news bits about Mitts winning the election. How can that be, when even Fox News seems lukewarm about that phony bastard? Here's who will vote for Romney: one percenters, racists and imbeciles. It's all so very boring.

Monday, July 02, 2012

Why TomKat Are Divorcing

Zipdrive's Celebrity Corner The Cruise Holmes Divorce
I make no apologies for being intrigued by reading the lurid details regarding the upcoming Katie Holmes & Tom Cruise divorce. The most common speculation for Katie wanting a divorce are: 1. He's gay. 2. His church of Scientology is a creepy cult. 3. He's divorced all his wives once they reach the age of 33. 4. Katie didn't want the church to snatch up Suri and take her to planet Nubulon for programming and induction. 5. He's very controlling. 6. He works too much. 7. He and John Travolta were caught having sex in the men's room of the Scientologist's Celebrity Centre in Los Angeles. 8. He's only 5'2" and all of his body parts are in proportion, including his 2.5 inch penis. 9. He knocked up Adele. Oh sure, any of these reasons might be true, but I am here to tell you why all of Cruise's marriages have gone belly up. Examine the photo closely. Look at that smile. His front tooth is in the middle of his face, directly under his nose! Tell me who could stand looking at that oddity for more than a few years, max? I'll bet when he talked, Katie Holmes would get so caught up staring at that freaky centered tooth she never heard a word he said. It must be kind of like talking to someone who has a bright green booger dangling from one of his nostrils, or someone with a pinto bean skin stuck to his front tooth. Who can focus on anything with that shit going on? Yep. I'll bet Tom gave Katie one of his huge movie star smiles once too often, and she said, "Look, Shorty, you have an abnormal tooth in the middle of your face and I can't do this anymore. You being a gay, workaholic, Scientologist, dwarf didn't bother me, but that goddamn tooth is a nightmare." You heard it here first. You're welcome.